We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
