I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
there is puke in my bra ... again
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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