Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
