id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
