Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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