totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
