I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
The ass gains better be worth it
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