it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
