there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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