Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Send help, water and tortillas.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
