Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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