This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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