If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
