Banned from zoo.
Again?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
