I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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