so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
and she was petting her beer can
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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