do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
