The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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