I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
