If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
