Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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