): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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