It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
