try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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