Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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