There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
There's even glitter on my cock...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
