real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
