some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
