You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize