do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
