I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
wanna go halves on a baby?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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