yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
