ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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