yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
