Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
