That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He better not be in your backpack
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize