Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
