there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
