It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
