If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
our cab driver is having phone sex.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
