Can Purell be used as lube?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
