I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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