Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
and eventually we just all took our pants off
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
