Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
