I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
