We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
