i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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