Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
