A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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