addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
