Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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