Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
