i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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