yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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