Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
