Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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