Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
