he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
