i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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