I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
