Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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