I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
