Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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