Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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