was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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