my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize