What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize