I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Text me some of your sweat
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
