Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
