did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I could make wine with my vomit
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
