Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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