Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
