I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize