The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
