After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
