Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
